Life is uncertain, nothing is guaranteed except that you will experience disappointment and setbacks.
Here are some “symptoms” of a victim mindset:
- You have mostly negative thoughts such as “why is this happening to me”, “life isn’t fair”
- Nobody understands me and my situation
- Rumination
- Using the word “Never” frequently…”I never get a break”,
- Using the word “Always” frequently…”I always have bad stuff happen to me”.
- You have a negative self-image
- You’re resentful, angry, jealous
- You pay attention to the “negative” things or even perceive things as negative. For example, your day is going pretty smoothly, but someone tooted their car horn at the red light. You’re mad and it ruined your day. Or, you don’t have the living environment that you prefer.
How to Break Out of Victim Mindset:
- Pay attention to the good in your life. Count your blessings. Journal a daily gratitude list. Even the smallest things such as being able to buy an ice cream cone, seeing a hawk gliding in the sky.
- Be WILLING to change your outlook
- Make goals, even small goals and take baby steps toward achieving them. This helps you feel empowered and confident.
- Do something for others! Hold the door for someone, smile at the store clerk. Show some love to others!
- Forgive yourself and others. This might take time and support to work through.
- Take responsibility for your actions, choices, the people you choose to be with.
I know that life can throw a curveball. I know that we would rather have everything the way we want. I know because my life hasn’t been hunky dory a lot of the time. I’ll spare the details, but trust me on this. It is all about your perception, interpretation, and reaction. Like I wrote above: You will experience setbacks and disappointments. Even extended tough times. But if you feed the situation with negative reactions and thoughts, you won’t help yourself.
And, don’t you WANT to help yourself?!?! Be honest:)